April 11, 2008...12:22 pm
Jeremy Clarkson’s best ever quotes
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Motoring megamouth and Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson turns 48 years old today.
Television presenter, author, part-time historian, quiz show panellist, honorary university alumni, would-be Prime Minister and one of the wittiest people in Britain – Jeremy Clarkson has amused and courted controversy in equal measure.
To celebrate the big man’s birthday, we’ve rounded up his greatest ever quotes.
Are there any we’ve missed? Have you got a favourite?
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24 Comments
April 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Favourite Clarkson quote:
‘I’d rather staple my ears, to a horse’
Genius!!
April 11, 2008 at 4:36 pm
(On undertaking cars)If there’s enough room for me to undertake then there’s enough room for them to move over in the first place.
April 12, 2008 at 11:39 am
On the handling of the Jag XJ220,
“Our father who art in heaven,
Ill be there in a minuite.”
April 14, 2008 at 7:47 am
When he was testing the Zonda(I think) with a witty smile. “We are now shifting from 5th gear into top gear!”. Obviously picking on the other BBC motoring show 5th Gear.
April 17, 2008 at 9:23 pm
James May turns up with a renault master [van], says he likes the styling, and that it’s chic and quite good looking!
Clarkson: “That ’s as good looking as a plumber’s bum crack!!”
legend
April 18, 2008 at 2:06 pm
This car is like herpes, great fun getting it not much fun to live with.
April 25, 2008 at 5:32 am
‘He would have walked into the dealership, “Hello”, and they would have shot him.’, Clarkson on James May in the USA.
April 25, 2008 at 1:50 pm
‘That’s not a car that’s just pornography’- Said about the new Aston Martin
April 25, 2008 at 6:39 pm
talking about the Jaguar XF “if that comes comes out i will cut my left leg off and beat myself to death with it.” For which Hammond replied, “do it, make it just make it.”
April 25, 2008 at 9:50 pm
On looking at a particularly ugly people carrier..
“How many volts would you have to have pumped through your testicles, before you’d buy that ?
April 26, 2008 at 9:32 am
either when he says:
1. WOW in a really sarcastic way
2. having a small vauxhall is like having a small tumor
April 26, 2008 at 4:59 pm
When they take a trip to the north pole
“Please do not write to us about drink driving because I’m not driving I’m sailing”
April 26, 2008 at 10:33 pm
‘That’s not a car that’s just pornography’- Said about the new Aston Martin DB9
x2
April 27, 2008 at 10:45 pm
“about as much good as a snooze button on a smoke alarm”
April 27, 2008 at 11:51 pm
..AND ON THAT BOMBSHELL
May 13, 2008 at 1:04 pm
(on the Ford GT. ) ” ’It takes you back to a time when Detroit was humming to the petrolhead-rhythm of the motown sound, … a time when the street echoed to the sound of dancing and the raw of last chance heroes in their V8 muscle cars, racing… between the lights.’’
May 15, 2008 at 11:18 pm
1 - Praising an aston martin: I’d rather be in this than in Keira Knightly.
May 18, 2008 at 11:45 pm
“It stands to reason that the fewer parts you have on your Porsche, the more expensive it becomes. Until you get to the point where someone with no Porsche at all walks past a showroom, they’re gonna get charged a million pounds.”
Had me in stitches.
June 11, 2008 at 5:20 pm
On The Aston Martin DB9 To France.
And Then Your Off Like A scolded Cock!!!
June 11, 2008 at 6:19 pm
At the beggining of the first amphibious car challenge.
James: “It’s a sailing boat”
Jeremy: “No it’s a Triumph Herald with a twig sticking out of it.”
June 11, 2008 at 8:20 pm
About the Clio V6 handling in a bend
“in typical French fashion it just gives up! A bit like the French did with the Germans.”
June 11, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Some say, he spent time in the tower of London because he named his teddy bear “the baby jesus”
Absoloute quality!!!
June 12, 2008 at 10:42 am
‘Diesel is the fuel of Satan!’
July 1, 2008 at 8:03 pm
“A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”
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