“The car they don’t want you to drive”, Nissan said of the original Almera when it started advertising its then-new product.
And guess what. The car was so mediocre, few did want to drive it.
Sadly, the Almera advert is not alone, so we’ve pulled together some more of the worst slogans used to flog cars; and if you’ve got any others, let us know…
Volkswagen Golf – Some things are best left alone
The Golf has long been the doyen of the modified car scene, so imagine the reaction when VW’s ad showed a succession of ‘sad-looking’ modified Golfs. The final irony was VW modifying their own a few years later – the Volkswagen Golf GTi W12-650.
Nissan Micra – Do you speak Micra?
Modtro. Simpology. Spafe. Do you speak Micra? We’ll no, not really. Not even the genius of director David Lynch could help this. And for those who don’t speak Micra: Modtro – modern and retro, Simpology – simple and technology, Spafe – spontaneous and safe.
Nissan QX – It exists
The second showing from Nissan is no better than the last. To say a car exists isn’t exactly selling the benefits of it. There are plenty of things that exist which you might not necessarily want. It didn’t exist for long anyway – Nissan quietly dropped it around 2002.
Renault 5 – What’s yours called?
My father owned a Renault 5 in the late 1980s which snapped clutch cables every 5,000 miles, regular as clockwork. He had a name for it, which isn’t repeatable on these pages.
Austin Rover – Now we’re motoring
Austin Rover’s campaign around the time of the Montego and Maestro – Now we’re motoring – would seem to suggest it wasn’t motoring before. And history suggests that may have been the case, but a lesson to marketing types: never admit that publically.
Stuart Milne
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